For quite some time I’ve been in a place of uncertainty and insecurity without knowing why. I noticed some months ago that my life is, well routine. Doing what I realized that I do all the time, I buried it and put other things before me. I use to be one that made time to enjoy and experience different things. Somehow, I’ve found myself distant from the old me and my day in and day out routine is blah with no type of fulfillment. I have 2 wonderful kids and a loving better half that are all very supportive, while some would probably think that should be enough, it’s not. I’m learning that when you’ve lost yourself, it’s not as easy to truly enjoy others

I’ve found myself sucked in a job that I no longer love but I can’t let it go just yet. I’m sure that the fear of the unknown has eased in because the bills will continue no matter what. I’ve been with the company now for 10 years. It was wonderful when I started and I’ve moved my way up the ladder a little. Over the years I’ve seen several changes within each department that I’ve had the pleasure of working, some good and others well were company changes. I tell myself that its just a phase and if I stick with it then it will be ok and I will feel better about it. In all honesty, I realized that I’m just making excuses for not finding what’s best for me.

I’ve had some time off of work, for health reasons, which has allowed me time to think and enjoy my kids. I wish this was me saying that I’m turning in my letter of resignation but I’m not there yet. I’m currently trying to dig deeper to figure out what happened along the way that has caused me to be in this stagnant place of uncertainty. I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels that their life is routine and is trying to find the happy place that they know they deserve or once had. However, I can’t speak for everyone I can only express my feelings.

I’m facing this head on so let us embark on this journey together. I challenge you to dig deep to find out what has caused you to be in a place of uncertainty or sadness. I’m not sure what I’ll face but I’m determined to find pure happiness once again. Until next time…

Mona’s Marmalade